Parenting a Child with ADHD: Why Support, Not Shame, Is the Game-Changer
When you're parenting a child with ADHD, it can feel like you're constantly running on empty. The meltdowns, the forgetfulness, the battles over the smallest things, then the guilt, the worry, and the quiet wondering: Is it just me? Am I doing something wrong?
You’re not alone. And no, you’re not doing anything wrong!!!. You’re parenting a child whose brain is wired differently and that requires support, not shame.
Understanding What’s Really Going On
Too often, children with ADHD are misunderstood as “lazy,” “disobedient,” or “manipulative.” But as clinical psychologist Dr. Mona Delahooke reminds us, behaviour is communication. When kids act out, shut down, or melt down, it's not defiance, it's dysregulation.
Her work emphasizes the importance of looking beneath the behaviour to understand the nervous system responses driving it. ADHD often comes with difficulties in emotional regulation, sensory processing, and executive functioning. When we parent through connection instead of correction, we start to truly help our kids thrive.
Similarly, Dr. Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child, offers a powerful mantra:
“Kids do well if they can.”
This simple phrase shifts the lens from blame to compassion. Children with ADHD aren’t choosing to be difficult; they are struggling with lagging skills, like impulse control, flexibility, and frustration tolerance. Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model encourages parents and kids to problem-solve together, rather than rely on rewards, punishments, or power struggles.
Why Support for Parents Is Essential
Let’s be real: Parenting any child takes work. Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like running a marathon in a storm, with no water stations.
Studies show that caregivers of children with ADHD experience higher stress, increased mental health challenges, and isolation (Theule et al., 2013). But here’s the good news: peer support, reflective parenting approaches, and education around neurodiversity can significantly reduce caregiver burnout and improve parent-child relationships (Johnston & Chronis-Tuscano, 2021).
The Power of Reflective Parenting and Community
As a therapist, parent community facilitator and mother of children with ADHD, I believe in combining real-life support with research-backed insights. That’s why I created The ADHD Parent Circle—a space where:
You’re not judged for venting
You’re given tools, not shame
You learn from experts, and from each other
You’re reminded that you don’t have to do this alone
We draw from the works of Delahooke, Greene, Dr. Laura Markham, Dr. Stuart Shanker, and others who recognize the interplay between nervous system regulation, attachment, and development. This isn’t about “fixing” your child, it’s about co-regulating, connecting, and growing together.
What You’ll Find in The ADHD Parent Circle:
Thoughtful psychoeducation on ADHD, regulation, and parenting
Peer support from others who are living it, just like you
Reflective prompts and gentle feedback to help you shift from reactivity to connection
Ongoing access to insights grounded in polyvagal theory, attachment science, and developmental psychology
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Support, Too
You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You need a space to feel seen, supported, and equipped. Your child’s ADHD journey is also your journey, and no one should walk it alone.
We’d love to welcome you inside The ADHD Parent Circle.
Because parenting a neurodivergent child isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing it together.
→ Learn more and join the community or book a free consultation with Victoria for more support.
