Fertility or Infertility.
However you say it - your journey is not what you expected.
No one thinks when they start planning to expand their family about all the heartache and twists in the road that may follow.
Infertility means grief and loss. It feels hard, impossible, and overwhelming.
Your journey is not like anyone else’s. Your journey is your own story.
When you are faced with inability to get pregnant or have miscarriages, you may struggle to relate to those around you. You may feel triggered when you see pregnancy announcements, hear about friend’s having babies or are invited to showers. The thought of needles, blood tests and doctor appointments bring back a flood of emotions. You believe your body failed you. You failed your partner or your partner failed you. The healthcare system has failed you.
You do not have to define yourself by your parenting journey. You are not a failure - we are here to support you and help you to see your value, your meaning and a path to fulfilment.
We believe that infertility, and pregnancy and infant loss are all pathways to perinatal mental health concerns. You carried hope and that hope was taken away. Feeling angry, sad, depressed, overwhelmed, anxious and many other emotions is understandable.
What I wish I knew:
how all consuming trying to get pregnant would be. Emotionally, mentally, physically, financially
how struggling to have a baby affects every facet of life: work, intimate partnerships, immediate and extended family, friendships.
We want you to know:
there were so many others going through similar things
find your community/support
there are resources out there to guide and support that aren't connected to clinics
“I never knew the inner strength and resilience I possessed...people say really stupid sh*t and they often don't mean what they are saying and genuinely have best intentions when it comes to advice on your journey”
— Local Fertility Counselling expert Lorra Kapteyn
Fertility struggles, trauma reality.
Your path to having children did not go as planned. Trauma can be the result of an event not going as expected. When reality is so far off from expectations that we cannot process what happened/what is happening our minds might “check out” or dissociate. The emotions are so intense and our identity disconnected from what we thought - are we a mother to be? a mother that was? Can you continue to hold hope when all you feel is hurt, disappointment and regret.
Why talking to someone can help..
talking with someone can help you prioritize/organize your thinking.
it is important to feel validated and heard about how hard this process is
trained therapists can help you find inner strength, provide you with resources around coping skills, provide assistance in navigating the world of fertility, and be a unbiased individual to help you sort through your thinking
some of the fertility process can trigger previous trauma
Click to book a Free Fertility Consultation
Our Services
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Meet with one of our specialized therapists one to one. Fertility Counselling/Psychotherapy means focused attention on the impact of your hopes not resulting in the dreams you had hoped - or the impact of the heartache and losses along the way.
Catherine and Ashley have a passion for helping her clients process and heal from barriers and conflict arising from family struggles
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Meet with your partner to build connection, process losses and enhance communication. Virtual sessions can be offered with couples together in the same space or in separate spaces - your preference.
Catherine and Karah are experienced working with couples and also has a foundational practice for trauma healing.
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Evidence based trauma treatment for recent or episodic trauma offered in group format.
Clients are encouraged to not share their traumas, only their learnings and goal qualities following processing of traumas.
Traumas included in our spcialized treatment are birth trauma, infertility, postpartum disconnection from baby (NICU or bonding distress), miscarriage and losses.
Victoria and Amber offer these groups a few times per year - email info@ambersperling.ca to get on the waitlist
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Are you looking to talk to a therapist who understands the spectrum of emotions that comes with a fertility struggle? A consultation can be a single session focused on learning more about the process and setting goals. The first 20 minute consultation is free.
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Our team has years of training and experience specialized in perinatal mental health. We feel honoured to be able to attend to workplaces and provide education on infertility, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and supporting families following reproductive traumas. Contact info@ambersperling.ca for more information on teaching workshops and speaking engagements.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.