You Might Need a 90s Summer… and Here’s How to Tell

I haven’t written a blog in a while, because that’s how ADHD, and really motherhood brains, work.

Summer brings this sweet duality: a sense of enjoyment and appreciation for the little things, and yet, at times, it feels like an endless stretch of things to do. Lately, I’ve been connecting with moms who are telling the same story, they're soaking up the sun, doing the park trips, and making the memories… but somehow losing themselves in the process.

Why is it that it has to be one or the other? Why does being present and adventurous with our families often mean we stop nurturing and caring for ourselves? And more importantly, how do we find the balance?

As I write this, I’m visualizing an early 90s summer: mom is relaxing, her kids are playing outside. They're dirty, happy, and barefoot. There’s no curated snackle box or extravagant sensory activity in sight, just some dirt, a bucket, and a trail of ants. Mom’s not on her phone. The TV is off. She isn’t absorbing any information, news, updates, or Pinterest ideas. She's simply there.

We've come a long way since then, and in many ways, that’s empowering. Information is accessible, connection is instant, and inspiration is everywhere. But what is that constant stimulation doing to our nervous systems, on a neuroscience level?

The Brain on Overload

As a therapist (and a mom of four), I’ve learned to look beneath behaviour and into the nervous system. Here’s what happens when we’re stressed or overstimulated, especially from screens:

1. Amygdala (The Threat Detector)

   This part of the brain becomes overactive during stress, triggering fight-or-flight responses—even when there's no real danger. When we're constantly scrolling, consuming, or responding, our amygdala doesn’t get to rest.

2. Prefrontal Cortex (Your Focus & Logic Center)

   This area helps with self-regulation, planning, and focus. But overstimulation (think: multitasking with screens, endless pings, decision fatigue) can shut it down. Cue: forgetfulness, mental fog, irritability, and that feeling of “Why can’t I keep up?”

3. HPA Axis (Your Stress Hormone Circuit)

   Chronic screen exposure (especially blue light and fast-paced content) can throw this system out of balance, leading to high cortisol levels. That might look like wired-at-night, exhausted-by-day cycles or snapping at your partner for no clear reason.

4. Dopamine Pathways (The Reward System)

   Constant screen use, especially with social media, floods your brain with dopamine. Over time, your brain starts needing more to feel the same pleasure, making it hard to tolerate boredom or even rest.

Listening to Your Body: Interoception

Interoception is your ability to sense what’s happening inside your body. It’s how you know you’re hungry, tired, anxious, or overwhelmed. This inner awareness is one of your greatest tools, and as moms, it often gets dulled because we’re constantly tuned into everyone else.

Here are signs your nervous system might be overstimulated:

1. Heart racing, even when nothing’s going on

2. Shallow breathing or feeling like you can’t get a full breath

3. Muscle tension, clenched jaw, tight shoulders while scrolling

4. Digestive issues—nausea, appetite changes, stomach tightness

5. Mental fatigue—that wired-but-tired feeling, trouble focusing, craving distraction

6. Sleep disruptions after screen-heavy evenings

These are not failures. They are messages.

Signal Type What You Might Notice

Physical Racing heart, dry mouth, clenched jaw, eye strain

Cognitive Trouble focusing, forgetfulness, craving more input

Emotional Irritability, anxiety, overwhelm

Behavioural Doom-scrolling, skipping meals, compulsive app switching

Sleep-related Insomnia, vivid dreams, difficulty waking feeling refreshed

If you’re noticing these, it’s not about self-blame, it’s about self-awareness. Our brains are neuroplastic, meaning they can change. But rewiring takes intention and practice. Trying for a day and slipping back doesn’t mean you’ve failed it means you’re human. This kind of inner work takes time.

Simple Ways to Reconnect With Yourself

Here are some gentle practices I recommend to clients (and use myself):

1. You are important: Prioritizing yourself is a fundamental need, and models the importance to our children. We are valuable, and its necessary to care for ourselves during this parenting journey.

2. Body Scan: Close your eyes and move your awareness from head to toe. Where are you holding tension?

3. Heartbeat Check-In: Can you feel your pulse without touching your chest or wrist?

4. Ask Yourself: “Am I hungry, tired, or anxious?” Start tuning into your inner cues.

And most of all, be gentle with yourself. Healthy emotions include remorse and regret (they guide growth), but shame and guilt? Those are toxic, and they don’t belong in your healing process.

If this feels hard, scary, or just… new—that’s okay. You’re not supposed to have it all figured out. If you need a safe space to explore what parenting in this always-on world feels like for you, I’d love to connect.

You deserve a nervous system that feels safe. A mind that’s not on high-alert. A summer that feels a little more 90s—and a lot more you.

Are you ready for personalized care that can help you implement these strategies? Contact us to get a free consultation with Victoria.