EMDR & Tapping for Anxiety: A Simple Step-by-Step Guide
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that your thoughts just won’t slow down? Or maybe something reminded you of a hard time, and suddenly your heart was racing and your stomach felt like it was in knots? When we are anxious and can’t find the thoughts to calm down, connecting with your body is actually the even better action.
That’s where something called bilateral tapping comes in. It’s a simple way to calm your body and brain—and you can even do it yourself.
Let’s break it down.
What Is EMDR? And what does it have to do with tapping?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a kind of therapy that helps people feel better after hard or scary experiences, like birth trauma, a car accident, or big life changes.
In EMDR therapy, you focus something upsetting while doing a movement that goes back and forth, like watching fingers move left to right, or tapping your shoulders one after the other.
This helps your brain reprocess the memory—kind of like your brain’s way of tidying up a messy drawer so it doesn’t feel so heavy or confusing anymore. Today you, in a safe space can actually go back to notice the memory without being in it - in a really powerful way.
What Is Bilateral Tapping?
Bilateral tapping is one way EMDR therapists help your brain feel safe and calm.
You tap your body left – right – left – right in a slow rhythm. This back-and-forth pattern helps the two sides of your brain talk to each other, like two friends solving a puzzle together.
You can tap:
Your shoulders (cross your arms like a hug and tap)
Your knees
The sides of your legs
Or even tap with your fingers on a table or your feet on the ground
Why Does It Work?
Our brains get “stuck” sometimes, especially after stress or trauma. That’s when we replay things over and over, feel on edge, or can’t seem to relax.
Bilateral tapping gives your brain a signal:
"You’re safe now. You can work through this.”
It helps you:
Calm down when your emotions feel big
Focus when your thoughts are all over the place
Fall asleep when your brain won’t stop thinking (I use this one on the regular!)
Try It Yourself: A Simple Tapping Practice
Here’s a step-by-step guide to try bilateral tapping at home:
👐 Step 1: Get Comfortable
Sit in a cozy chair with your feet on the ground. Take a deep breath.
🤲 Step 2: Cross Your Arms
Cross your arms like you’re giving yourself a gentle hug. Your right hand rests on your left upper arm, and your left hand rests on your right upper arm.
👋 Step 3: Start Tapping
Tap back and forth slowly:
Right – Left – Right – Left.
Like a steady drumbeat. Not too fast. Just enough to feel the rhythm.
🧘 Step 4: Add a Thought or Feeling
Think of a word that helps you feel calm. Maybe “safe,” “strong,” or “peace.”
Or think of a peaceful place like the beach, a cozy blanket, or a quiet forest.
Keep tapping for about 5 slow long breaths or as long as you need to notice a shift in your body and mind.
🌬️ Step 5: Pause and Breathe
Stop tapping. Take a deep breath.
Notice how you feel. Lighter? A little more grounded?
You can repeat this as often as you like.
When to Use This
Tapping is great for:
Calming anxiety
Grounding yourself during a busy day
Helping with sleep
Shifting out of an overwhelming moment
It’s not a replacement for therapy, but it’s a wonderful tool to use between sessions or anytime you need a reset.
Want to Learn More?
Here are some great resources if you’re curious:
📘 Books:
Tapping In by Laurel Parnell – A gentle guide to using bilateral tapping for calm and resilience
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk – Talks about how trauma affects the brain and body
🌐 Websites:
emdria.org – Learn more about EMDR from the official association
laurelparnell.com – Helpful tools and guides from an EMDR expert
📝 Other Blogs on Our Site You Might Like:
“What Therapy Feels Like Here” – A gentle look at starting therapy
“From Overwhelmed to Empowered” – Simple tools for the postpartum season
“Grounding Tools for Anxious Moments” – More calming strategies that work with your nervous system
Final Thoughts
Your brain is wise—and sometimes it just needs a little help to feel safe again.
Tapping is a small act with a big impact. Whether you’re a new mom, someone healing from past hurt, or just feeling frazzled, know this:
🧠 Your brain can heal.
💗 You are not broken.
👐 And yes, you can tap your way back.
If you are curious to learn more - book a free consultation with one of our therapists, we are all trained in EMDR and ready to support you in your growth journey toward calm.
